Need a good laugh today? A reminder that life is tough for everyone and we all have bad days. Yep, no Supermom here. Keep on looking! I try my best, but somedays I’m still just covered in horse crap.
It started on Tuesday. All three kids were at school for the morning and I needed a mental pick-me-up, a self-convincing that I was a distance runner. It may sound silly to you that I had doubts, but they creep in, those demons that tell you you’re not good enough, you’re not legit, you’re not …
It had been just over a month since I had completed a good solid long run, which to me equals 18 miles or more. I had one goal to accomplish Tuesday morning between 9am-12 noon — to run as many miles as I could. I covered about 20 in the mountains and felt great. Definitely tired, fatigued and in need of some extra coffee that afternoon to get me through homework and babysitting and dinner and cleaning and all the daily chores of a mother of three littles. Anyway, I still felt pretty good.
Then 9pm rolled around and I was toast. Just as I collapsed in bed, I heard strange noises. It was choking — a sound no one ever wants to hear, let alone a tired Mama. I tiptoed into the kid’s room to see which one it was (all three share a room so it’s tricky to detect who is making little sounds in the night). It was Cesia, my middle daughter, and she was covered in vomit.
That was only the beginning. For the next four hours, she alternated vomiting and running to the toilet for the other end while I alternated changing her sheets and clothes and bathing her in the middle of the night with soothing, calming and helping her get back to sleep.
Needless to say, Wednesday morning the sun rose and I was feeling pretty beat. I hardly slept at all and my body was in serious need of rest and recovery post-20 miler. Ah well, I’d get it eventually. Wednesday night went okay and all seemed just fine. Then Thursday all were back at school and I completed my speed workout for the week. I felt pretty shitty, my legs filling with lactic acid during the 2 mile warm-up (never a good sign!). Ah well, I completed it and right on pace and went on with my day, just waiting for bedtime. Then bedtime came and.. more choking, the crying and sobbing. Who could it be now?
I dashed to the kid’s room last night to find my littlest, my soon-to-be-three year old Isaac just completely covered head to toe in puddles of dinner, and lunch and everything else he had shoved into his little 30 lb body over the course of the day. Another night came and went with nary a wink. I slept cuddled up with him in our bed, quieting his shaking body and bathing him twice in the middle of the night.
Friday morning and gosh, I’m just ready to sleep. My body is off, my legs achy and tired, my stomach upset but I’m not sure whether it’s mental paranoia over getting this stomach bug myself or just a result of sheer exhaustion. Time will surely tell.
Dogs are driving me crazy, kids feisty despite their little sleep this week and I just need to run. It all takes so much effort sometimes. It’s ridiculous but somehow the loading and packing of snacks and kids and dogs and water and poop bags all to go for a quick 4 miler takes longer than the 4 miler itself! In fact it nearly always does. There’s no “quick-out-the-door” with kids, it always just takes freaking forever. I’m losing patience by the second and just want my feet to be gliding over dirt.
Alas, we are all packed, buckled, tied on and ready to run! Things are good, life is good, I am slowly finding my happiness and peace underneath all the vomit and germs that are covering me. Then Clover (our older, supposed-to-be-better-behaved, dog), takes off down a steep single track and won’t come back. No listening to me, just complete and utter ignoring my commands and treats and pleads. I’m just about to lose it when I hear her collar jingling towards us. Ah, she’s back. Time to go home, I’m so tired and my annoyance level is increasing again. I grab her to find my hands instantly covered in.. ugh, gross, what is that? Horse-crap. More horse-crap. She rolled her entire body in horse poop and is now just freaking disgusting and I’m covered in horse crap and all I wanted was a nice relaxing run.
Oh well, we’ll try again another day. Just one of those days. Part of the game. I’m so freaking tired, and still all I want is to go out for a nice, peaceful quiet run. Tomorrow is Saturday, perhaps I’ll negotiate for some morning alone time before sunrise. Happy Friday all and hope you got a laugh out of this one! Somedays are just not so easy. Hoping tomorrow is…
And some glimpses of hope and beauty from our run this morning.. before the horse-crap.